Tell your story. Shout it. Write it. Whisper it if you have to. But tell it. Some won’t understand it. Some will outright reject it. But many will thank you for it. And then the most magical thing will happen. One by one, voices will start whispering, ‘Me, too.’ And your Tribe will gather. And you will never feel alone again ― L.R. Knost
I fell in love with Jacqueline Hollows during our chat on my IC show. There is something so real and accessible about her. Her story is a fascinating one, from surviving childhood trauma to a career in IT, to helping Prison inmates gain relief from their suffering with her 3 Principles based foundation — Beyond Recovery.
Jacqueline first came across the Principles when she was going through a series of major life-changing events. Soon after reconnecting with her estranged father, he passed away. She then lost her job, her house, and even her car. Although she was initially skeptical about the 3 Principles, something about the Understanding had impacted her. She knew deep down inside that she’d be okay, and something would guide her as to what to do next. And that’s precisely what happened. While looking at other business opportunities, she attended a networking event. There she met an extraordinary man who changed the course of her life.
The man she met was a recovering Heroin addict, and ex Punk Rocker, who had spent many years in and out of the prison system. Jacqueline said he was the most inspirational person she’d ever met. He shared with her that he was trying to start a film-making business. Soon after their meeting, she began volunteering for him and working on his board of directors. They would have long chats about the ‘inside out nature of life’ that the Principles points to. To cut a very long story short, that was the beginning of her journey to working with addicts and their families in the prison system.
Having gone through her own struggles with childhood abuse and alcohol addiction, Jacqueline said she felt she’d found her Tribe. As they each shared their stories, she felt an immediate love and connection with them, a rapport that she hadn’t felt before. Until then, she’d felt like this weird person on the periphery of everything. Someone nobody else could identify with.
Jacqueline’s story reminded me of my own story growing up. I always felt like an outcast and that I didn’t fit in.That’s why I love working with people who are recovering from issues of Codependency and Narcissistic Abuse. These people are my Tribe. Before coming across the Principles, I’d spent most of my life struggling with these same issues myself. I felt alone in the world and thought I must be the only one that felt the way I did. How refreshing it was to know that I was not alone. That there were lots of people who had experienced childhood trauma, which led them to think a certain way about themselves. That’s the beauty of sharing our stories. That is how we call out to our Tribe and let them know that we understand them and what they have gone through.
Prior to coming across the 3 Principles, I hadn’t realized that the thoughts that told me that I couldn’t handle my anxiety or overwhelming emotions were fleeting and would eventually move on and disappear. I didn’t know that the loneliness I felt was a misunderstanding that I was separate and alone in this world. I didn’t know that the connection I was seeking with another person came from a desire to reconnect with the essence of who I was. I didn’t know that everything I needed was already within me and that I didn’t need to look outside of myself to another person for strength or guidance.
Thanks to the clarity this Understanding has brought to my life, I no longer suffer from Codependency. I no longer feel powerless and a victim of my situation or people in my life who are unhealthy for me. Now that I am aware of who I am at my essence, I feel empowered to make more self-honoring choices for myself and my loved ones. And in turn, I can now help others in my Tribe do the same.
With love and appreciation, Del 💕